Reposted from the Kansas City Forum

So you've all heard the little analogy about men being a lightswitch and women being a volume knob. This is pretty much true. While sexual tension can be fun for us guys, we, ultimately, don't need it. We can go from zero to sex instantly. Women, on the other hand, generally need to be gradually turned up.

Something a lot of guys don't think of is that this is also true AFTER sex. That volume knob should be gradually turned back down.

When I'm with a girl I ALWAYS try to last longer then her, in her "sexual timeframe". See, to a man sex begins when you put it in her and ends when you get off. To a woman, however, sex begins MUCH sooner - think verbal foreplay, think of the unspoken sexual tension - a few hours before sex. And, for them, it doesn't end when the guy gets off. They want that cool down.

Basically I do the same as I do during foreplay, minus the oral, and in reverse. I slow it down and do it more relaxed. Keeping my bedroom eyes and maintaining good eye contact, occassionally looking at her body and slightly smiling, I gently run my fingers all over her body as I kiss her stomach, making my way up to her breasts, which I'm very gentle with (remember I'm cooling her down here), then her neck and finally a little kissing on the lips. I then tell her something about her that I really liked, something that really stood out. Something genuine. After all, sex is the ultimate level of compliance, I have do give her something positive for that (other then, of course, the privilage of being with me). The whole process can take just a minute or a couple of minutes, depending on how sensual you want to be...

The point of posting this however has nothing to do with the above technique or it's effects. Rather, it's what I noticed about my mentality, what runs through my head as I do this.

While I look all cool and smooth on the outside, and while I milk this Don Juan soft touch and kisses afterplay stuff (solidifying my place as "best" or at least "most memorable lover"), something much different is going on in my head. I have to work to focus on the task at hand. Remember, I'm a light switch, as soon as I get off the switch is flipped.

I start my "afterplay" about 10 seconds after I get off, and here's what I notice...

10 seconds after I get off, I can look at her and see the emotions going through her.

10 seconds after I get off I can see her looking into my eyes with a calm passion.

10 seconds after I get off I see her glowing.

10 seconds after I get off I can tell she is still drifting back from euphoria.

10 seconds after I get off I see her coming from a state of ecstacy, into one of peace and tranquility.

And 10 seconds after I get off, what goes through my head?

"Man, biscuits and gravy sounds fucking good right now"

-Dane