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Reeling her back in :(

Feb. 24, 2008 2:00 PM - [ post comment ]

So I finally had somewhat of a girlfriend

and I think it is over

Think being the operative word.

I'm a gamer...I finally meet this girl that i really like. A lot. I'm still gaming her and everything, being alpha male...thinking everything is all good...then all of a sudden it seems to be over.

Understand, this girl liked me way more than I liked her. She made me breakfast..preordered Super Smash Brothers Brawl( I'm in love with that series of games) for me..everything.

We talked online for a while, then we started meeting up in person a few weeks after. Pretty soon I'd be over every weekend to just hang with her.

This all started late December. On Valentine's Day I finally decided to have sex with her (I've tried before...i didn't mind not having it, i just wanted to see how ready she was)

Couple days after the sex, she started to get distant it seemed. I called her out on it and she said she didn't realize she was getting distant until I mentioned it (which i feel is a lie) So we had a big discussion about how we both liked each other a lot but:

"Our feelings for eachother seem premature, i think it's too soon for how much we like eachother, i don't know where I am going to be in 4 months after I graduate.." etc

So I was willing to take it slower...I was willing to forego sex with her until way later. I just wanted her back to her normal "I can't get enough of you, Dionysus" mode, writing poems about me, surprising me, holding me..all that.

I stopped talking to her for a few days to give her space. And we painfully got more distant all of a sudden. It hurt not being able to talk to her...

LEMME ADD that during my PUA REBOUND stage, or whatever, I was hooking up with other girls. I found out one of my old acting friends gave amazing head. Wow.

It didn't help. Whatever I was feeling for my distant girlfriend was much more powerful than the pleasures of sex. But I tried to keep in my pua mindset and "live a life that makes everyone want to be around me". It is hard to keep it up. I feel that wants it drops even for a second, it's like falling from a high ledge.

This girl (I'm just going to call her r0z for the sake of not saying 'this girl' all the time). R0z IMs me finally and reminds me that I had RSVPd both of us 2 weeks ago for an event the next day.

r0z: Hey, do you still want me to go to the screening with you?
Me: Come if you want to come, don't feel like you're obligated to come
R0z: I just didn't know where you stood
Me: If you want come, but don't come if you feel obligated, it's fine with me, trust me
R0z: I'm fine

tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime goes by
it's now the middle of the night

R0z: I want you to want me to come
tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime goes by and i don't respond
Me: R0z, would you like to go to the screening with me?
R0z lol hahahaha yeah

And we proceeds to try to make plans about meeting eachother there but idon't respond unti lshe suggests to let me pick her up. We have a fun time at the screening, we bumped into the rapper Common, everything seems normal, we laugh, joke, and when i drop her off she hugs me and says goodnight. I go home. She IMs me and says thanks she "had a fun little time"

I don't initiate anymore convo with her until she does so. I'd rather give her space...and I guess make it look like I've been making myself busy.

The distance gap kinda closes and a week later she is IMing me more and more but keeping conversation very casual.

It really hurts to talk to her, guys, and feel that I can't have her anymore.

What should I do? Keep talking to her on a friendly level? If so, it seems like she will be the one to decide whether we become intimate again or not. I feel like she still likes me.

I noticed she started using shit-tests now. She's becoming a little tougher in her casual convo. She tries to make it sound casual sometimes, but my Pua Vision sees the shit-tests. I never jump through the hoops.

IT'S HARD KEEPING MY FEELINGS FROM HER THOUGH! It seems that now we are in this phase, we are playing The Game for real.

HELP ME.

	Comment by Trend on Feb. 25, 2008 8:30 AM Personally, and this is just me, I would keep doing my own thing. I've been in the position of really liking a girl and not being able to tell her how I feel. It does suck, and trying to keep her around because you like her, even though you aren't sure how SHE feels, will only make you feel worse. I would just keep going on with my life waiting for her to make contact with me. That will at least allow you to detach yourself a bit. Or if it's really killing you, go ahead and tell her how you feel, and see what happens. Just keep in mind that if you do verbalize things, all the cards are on the table, and you'll know exactly where things stand whether you like it or not.

	Comment by aleams on Feb. 25, 2008 2:50 AM Maybe, and this is just a suggestion, that you are so focused on what you are not supposed to do that you are actually taking away the focus of what you are trying to do. You want a relationship.. All the methods help you get the woman and give you the starting blocks to get into the relationship. When I read your conversation you almost seemed a little too distant. Sure, distance is good in moderation, but you seem like you do not want to get too close because you actually do like her. You know everything you should be doing, but it's all about keeping up the spontanaity. I am trying to remember what David D used to say all the time when people asked for relationship advice, but do what I am working on and apply my success tips to your situation. Do not be impatient and expect her to always give it to your straight, be gracious of the time you have with her and make her know it maybe not through words, but through actions and body language and tone. Finally, you should think positive and not think that you are done with this relationship, if you believe that you have failed then you already left her emotionally. You gotta keep a smile on your face and have some fun with her... I don't know pickup as well as you so I cannot tell you exactly what someone else would say, but for me that's how I see it and that's how I would respond to it. Just give it a try, you have nothing to lose..

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