Before you read the blog, one warning: This is my view on approach anxiety and it can be rough for some people that struggle with approach anxiety. This is not my intention, but it is my moral obligation to be honest about it and how I view approach anxiety.

Approach anxiety is not the anxiety to approach, but the anxiety to be confronted with your shortcomings.

People that do not approach are comfortable with this status quo. People in general don't like change. Even if it is in their best interest to change.

Often people who are in this status quo say that they see that they aren't good with women, but this is self deception. They still want to protect an untrue self image that they are good with women. And whn they approach they would risk this image that they are comfotable with.

So that is the simple way to explain this hesitation that many men encounter while trying to attempt to approach. They don't want to see the truth, because than they have to accept that they aren't good and have to change. And lieing to your self and staying comfortable, is for them a better option.

If they would approach, they not only say they see their flaws, but also truly see and recognize their flaws. Because this realisation that you are not that respected cool guy, but instead are a social retard, causes stress and the necessity to change that also adds extra stress. Because men don't like change, they don't approach and can lie to themselves, because they aren't confronted with their shortcomings that would surface when they approach a girl and can keep a unrealistic selfimage with they are comfortable.

Realizing that you are a loser because of the reaction you get when you approach and then have to see that you aren't that cool and respected guy , isn't fun. And this causes stress, because it isn't a nice image. So when you are in a situation where you are not approaching and where you are comfortable with an unrealstic self image, you wouldn't risk that with approaching. This is the way how hesitation occurs when you approach. So in fact it isn't the approach that we fear, but the comfrontation with our shortcomings that we don't want to see, because we want to keep our unrealistic self-image. Even if that is keeping us from a better life.

The solution is to accept the pain and the stress that comes from the realisation that you are in the moment are a social retard and that you have to change in order to be a normal guy that can approach.

And to everyone that does not agree with this: Stay in wonderland. Change will not happen if you don't want to see the flaws that you have to correct in order to achieve your goals.

Many guys are active on forums because they want to exchange ideas with each other. This is a nobel thought and should be ambraced as such.

But unfortunately, much of these forums are cockfarms for men who only daydream about success, but never ever practice  anything, than writing  fictitious stories.  This becomes very clear in some of the so called field reports that use a lot of meta language, but do not describe any real experience to relate too.

Too many people wait for the golden trick on a forum to be written, but it never comes and they never take action.

I have come to this conclusion after a period of being active on such a forum, that when you really take action in "the real world'" that much of the urge to be on those forums disappear.

I don't say I am that good or something. Oh no, I am still practicing. But I have luckily come to the conclusion to take action instead of writing wishfull thoughts on cock forums as I call them from this moment on.

I cannot say that all forums are cock forums, but those that I've came across, were just that.

Take action instead. Rather be blown off in the worst case scenario, than to participate in wishful thinking and doing nothing.

yours sincerely,
Godspeed

Hey all, I've just finished reading the book Your Erroneous Zones of the author Wayne Dyer. It is a fantastic book that helps everyone's inner game who reads it to evolve to an new level. It focuses on you inner game that is present in all aspects of life, not just your sex life. I know it is on the market for a long time, but I am sure that a lot of guys never heard of this book.

I came to my decision to buy this book when I saw one of David Deanglo's videos. This book focuses on your value as a person. But the difference is, that your value does not depend on the opinions of others. That is bullshit. I would have never ever made that statement if I didn't read and understand this book.

In the actual moment you read this, you have a certain value. By recognizing that you cannot change the value before the change happens or doing anything that may add value (learning because of mistakes), you must accept your self who you are before changing. By doing this you don't panic when the girl does something. Because you have accepted your self in the actual moment, so it is impossible to panic about what she says. In the beginning of the book, it focuses on accepting your self and it gives you exercises for learning how to do that.

When people aren't good with something, haven't accepted that they aren't good in something and they relate value to other persons' opinions, they avoid doing something like approaching. But if you accept your self, the things you aren't good at and don't relate your value to how other act to you, than why the hell would you care.

I know that this review/brief summary won't give you the insight that the book can. So the only advice I can give you, is to read it. Don't expect to be superman in an instant, because you first have to internalize the ideas into your mindset as I am doing in the "actual moment". But it will definitely benefit your inner game. 

P.S. Read feel the fear, and do it anyway of the author Susan Jeffers. Dutch title of this book: Niet durven, toch doen.

It is striking that most of the pua's are from North America. Where are the 'professional' pua's that live on other continents. Yes, I know that there is Gambler, but he also has the English language as mother tongue. There aren't any Dutch, German, Belgian or Austrian pua's that I am aware of and that have a company that has a link to the community.  But  hey, maybe I haven't looked thorough enough. If you guys know of any good PUA that lives on continental Europe (not living on the British Isle) , then I would appreciate that. But if you ask to me, there aren't pua's in Europe that have the same status as those in the States and Canada or other English parts of the world.