Before you read the blog, one warning: This is my view on approach anxiety and it can be rough for some people that struggle with approach anxiety. This is not my intention, but it is my moral obligation to be honest about it and how I view approach anxiety.

Approach anxiety is not the anxiety to approach, but the anxiety to be confronted with your shortcomings.

People that do not approach are comfortable with this status quo. People in general don't like change. Even if it is in their best interest to change.

Often people who are in this status quo say that they see that they aren't good with women, but this is self deception. They still want to protect an untrue self image that they are good with women. And whn they approach they would risk this image that they are comfotable with.

So that is the simple way to explain this hesitation that many men encounter while trying to attempt to approach. They don't want to see the truth, because than they have to accept that they aren't good and have to change. And lieing to your self and staying comfortable, is for them a better option.

If they would approach, they not only say they see their flaws, but also truly see and recognize their flaws. Because this realisation that you are not that respected cool guy, but instead are a social retard, causes stress and the necessity to change that also adds extra stress. Because men don't like change, they don't approach and can lie to themselves, because they aren't confronted with their shortcomings that would surface when they approach a girl and can keep a unrealistic selfimage with they are comfortable.

Realizing that you are a loser because of the reaction you get when you approach and then have to see that you aren't that cool and respected guy , isn't fun. And this causes stress, because it isn't a nice image. So when you are in a situation where you are not approaching and where you are comfortable with an unrealstic self image, you wouldn't risk that with approaching. This is the way how hesitation occurs when you approach. So in fact it isn't the approach that we fear, but the comfrontation with our shortcomings that we don't want to see, because we want to keep our unrealistic self-image. Even if that is keeping us from a better life.

The solution is to accept the pain and the stress that comes from the realisation that you are in the moment are a social retard and that you have to change in order to be a normal guy that can approach.

And to everyone that does not agree with this: Stay in wonderland. Change will not happen if you don't want to see the flaws that you have to correct in order to achieve your goals.