Field Report #1

Date: 11/23/2007

Dress: dark wash jeans, chocolate brown cashmere V-neck sweater, casual black leather lace-ups, standard black leather jacket, ancient pyramid belt, white T-shirt, hematite ring, and contact lenses.

My boys, P1 and P2, and I decide to hit up a popular greasy spoon before heading out to a concert. We walk in and find it pretty empty as anticipated prior to 2am. Upon entering the dining area, I spot a HB7 at a table, alone, but with empty plates in front of her and on the other side of her table. I think of David Shade’s EC experiments that I had just read about a week prior. Although she’s seated, I lock on her left eye. HB7 looks up, makes EC, and maintains it. Just as I am about to pass her to sit down, she smiles. I smile. She says, “Hi.” I say, “Hi.” As I sit down, I break EC. P1 elbows me and states, “Dude, she’s cute.”

My buddies and I discuss inane details about the environmental changes since last we had been there. I use this as an excuse to look around. HB7 makes EC.

Xapp: Have they redecorated this place?

HB7:  I don’t know. Do you like it?

Xapp: I’m not sure yet. Ask me when I’m done eating.

Waiter arrives to take drink orders. Menu selection is discussed. P1 indicates that an ex-wife of a mutual friend has arrived with a new beau to dine. I turn to look. HB7 makes EC, I hold EC. She smiles, and breaks EC. P1, observing this, states, “Dude, you should go talk to her.” I decide she needs to work more, and converse with P2. Waiter arrives, takes orders, and leaves. We ask about our drinks.

HB7: So, what are you boys doing tonight?

Xapp: Going to see our friend play in a band at X location.

HB7: Oh. My friend left to go get laid. (borderline red flag raised)

Xapp: Oh yeah? Your boyfriend left you here?

HB7: We’re just friends. We were out doing Xmas shopping (it was Black Friday), and he met some chick. So, what’s your name?

Xapp: [Xapp], you?

HB7: [name]. How old are you?

Xapp: Guess.

HB7 (laughing): C’mon.

Xapp: Where do you want me to take you?

HB7 (laughing): Just tell me.

Xapp: How old do I look?

HB7: Thirty.

Xapp: I’m 35.

HB7: You don’t look 35. I’m 31.

Xapp: C’mon.

HB7 (laughing): Where to?

At this point, I become excruciatingly aware of my two friends observing me. I become highly self-conscious, and acknowledge to myself that I continue to be overly concerned with others’ opinions of me. I feel my face is flushed, and beads of sweat beginning to build on my forehead. I end up simply maintaining EC, speechless. She smiles. I smile.

HB7: So? Where you gonna take me.

Xapp: I’m not sure yet, we just met.

Waiter arrives with drinks. My buddies and I exchange glances.

Xapp: Whoa, danger Will Robinson. I’m done with crazy.

P1: She’s hot, dude.

P2: She could be a lot of fun.

HB7 (interjecting): I am a lot of fun.

P2 (laughing): Doh.

HB7: So, you boys are going to a concert? What kinda music is it? Really loud, like rock?

Xapp (looking to P2): I’m not really sure how to classify it. It’s rock, but not metal. More Americana.

HB7: I have really sensitive ears.

P2: Apparently.

Xapp: Pull up a chair.

HB7: Really?

P2: Sure, come on over.

HB7 (sitting down across from me): So, where you from, Xapp?

Xapp: I’m not really sure anymore. I’ve lived all over the country. I just got back from [another state] where I lived for a year. Gorgeous country out there.

HB7: Is that where you’re originally from?

Xapp: No. I was just there for a year.

HB7: You were workin’ out there, or what?

Xapp: Yeah.

HB7: So, what do you do? Are you, like, a doctor or something?

Xapp (surprised at her accuracy): Something like that.

HB7: You are or you aren’t.

P2: He’s a doctor.

Xapp: Well, not yet. I’m gonna be in about six months.

HB7: Oh! What kinda doctor are you gonna be?

Xapp: I’m an organizational consultant.

P1: C’mon, dude, tell her the truth. You’re a fucken [specific doctor]!

HB7: So you’re gonna be rich.

Xapp: I like to live comfortably.

HB7: It takes a lot of college to be a [specific doctor].

Xapp: About 15 years.

HB7: That’s a long time.

Xapp: It’s awhile.

HB7: So, do you live around here? I live in [high class neighborhood].

Xapp: I live in [vague general area].

P2: He lives in [specific nice area].

HB7 (putting her hand on my leg under the table): Ooh. That’s a fun place. Lots of cool bars. You gonna get wasted tonight?

Xapp (moving her hand off my leg under the table): I don’t drink anymore.

HB7: Why not?

Xapp: I’m allergic to alcohol. When I drink, I break out in handcuffs. (my standard response)

HB7 (laughing, placing hand back on my leg): That’s really cool that you knew when enough was enough. You’re mature. I like that.

Waiter arrives with food. While putting pepper on my food, way too much comes out of the shaker all at once. Everyone laughs.

HB7 (condescending): You got enough pepper on there?

Xapp (dead serious with intense EC): I like it hot and spicy.

P1 (laughing): Dude.

HB7 (laughing): Like me, I’m half Latina.

Xapp: Oh yeah? I had a lot of Latino friends growing up.

HB7: Where’d you grow up? You never told me where you’re from.

Xapp: I’m from California.

HB7: Me too! We should hang out. Gimme your number.

Xapp: I don’t give out my number.

HB7 (aghast): Why not?! Hmmm. You prolly get stalkers.

Xapp: You gonna stalk me?

HB7 (laughing): No.

Xapp: Not even if I asked you to?

HB7: What about Email?

Xapp: Now you want my Email?

HB7 (sighing): Fine. I’m gonna give you my number. Here. I want you to call me.

Xapp: Lemme see if I can read this…

HB7: Right. That’s a nice ring, where’d you get it?

Xapp: I was cleaning out my truck this morning, and I found it. I put it on, and now it wont come off.

P1: That’s [my ex]’s ring! She was looking for that all year!

HB7: Aha! So a girl gave it to you!

Xapp: Well, a woman left it in my truck.

HB7: So you don’t have a girlfriend?

Xapp: Not yet.

P1: Shit, we’re late. We gotta get goin’.

HB7: Are you gonna call me?

Xapp: I might.

We all get up to leave. P1 & P2 pay first, and leave. I walk outside with HB7.

HB7: You’re not gonna call me. Are you?

Xapp: I might.

HB7: I might never see you again.

Xapp: You might. I want to give you this ring, though, to remember me. It’s made of hematite. It absorbs negative energy from whomever wears it, until it breaks, and then all the negative energy is destroyed. I figure it’s absorbed enough of mine, so you take it. (I give her the $2 ring.)

HB7: OMG! Thank you! I want a hug.

(We hug. She smells my neck. I smell her hair. She pulls away, tears in her eyes, looks me in the eyes, then kisses me.)

HB7 (flustered): I gotta go. You should definitely call me. Have fun tonight.

Review: I omitted all the inane banter, conversations between she and my buddies, etc. She said some really bizarre things, and was bad news. Cute, but bad news. I picked up on borderline personality traits early, and “experimented” a bit. Because I did not feel any investment, nothing was at stake, and hence my anxiety was low.

By all accounts (including the waiter who we ran into at the concert later that night), I could have taken her into the bathroom, I could have taken her home, I could have done most anything. And, that was precisely why I chose to do nothing but brighten her day a bit. She is likely someone who has been victimized in the past, and I did not want to be added to that list. For a bit, I considered bringing her to the concert with us as a pivot, but she was just too “out there”; other women would have questioned whether I was her case manager. Regardless, this was an interesting, if not amusing, experience/experiment, and, as sad as this is, it boosted my self-esteem quite a bit. I also think I might buy a bunch of hematite rings ala the necklace-giveaway time-bridge thing.

Xapp
Recovering AFC