In order to build yourself back up again from a total meltdown-crash, its important to go in and label everything that makes your inner game tick. Youve got your inner core, inner frame, and your outer frame. The inner core is the evolutionary grain augmented by your experiences and environmental stimuli. Its basically "who you are... on the inside." Its not all of your neurosis and behavioral idiosyncrasies... its deeper than that. Its that inner beacon that gets blipped out a bit while youre experiencing real intimacy with another human being. The first step to building your inner game back is rewiring everything that connects to that inner core. Once youve identified your inner core, you have to flip the attraction switches on yourself. You have to be attracted to your inner core in order for anyone else to be attracted to it. Now, on to the frames. Your inner frame surrounds your core, and your outer frame can grow from your own personal space to grab other people into it. The inner frame cant be an iron box; it certainly shouldnt be tissue. Your inner frame should be a semi-permeable membrane, allowing certain things in and certain things out. The "stronger" your frame, the more choice experiences and emotions will be allowed to trickle in while superficial and transient shit will be blocked out. Only with a strong and functional inner core will the inner frame be able to properly function. Only after the inner frame is completely programmed, will you successfully be able to give a shit while not giving a fuck. What I mean by "giving a shit" is letting other peoples opinions affect you. This should happen with peoples opinions that you truly trust, the people who deserve to have a real and lasting impact on your life and who you are. If you dont "give a shit" about real and true insights, you end up just being a bull-headed asshole. Its a very solitary life. However, being a completely sympathetic/attention seeking mush isnt healthy either. Nor, is it attractive. Its needy, and needy is not sexy. "Not giving a fuck" is the phrase I use when my inner frame blocks out superficial opinions from affecting my inner core. There are idiots in the world. You dont have to qualify to them because they dont deserve it. Your inner core must have worth, or this semi-permeable membrane inner frame cant effectively categorize the quality and the superficial. The outer frame is the first thing someone else will notice about you. Its reflected in your body language, your confidence, and your presence. Its your own bubble that you walk around in; I choose to party in mine. I bring other people into the party, or I screen them as not worthy of an invite. Its also my reality in real-time, in the world, existing. Its the experience I choose to have, and the experience I choose to let others in on. Now, a strong outer frame will affect other people through interaction. My frame is strong enough to suck other people in... only because all of the inner pieces are healthy and functioning. Its only after building attraction, comfort, rapport, and intimacy with another person that your inner frame melds with your outer frame and becomes one, allowing as much of my inner core out as is healthy. This formulaic reaction leads to mind-blowing relations with other human beings. And really hot sex.Afterword: Even with a kick-ass functional frame mechanism and inner core, it can still be shattered. There are certain experiences in life that can and will have this effect. However, though it sucks, I believe an existential crisis is crucial to the human experience and development. The thing about a healthy frame-core relationship is that when little cracks happen, its easier to pick out where it got to you, where it happened, and how to deal with it in the future. Were not building up scar tissue. Were talking about building stronger muscles.