Long Time, No Talk (Caution: Puberty is mentioned frequently)
Jan. 12, 2008 11:24 PM - [ post comment ] Well, it's been about a week since my last blog post. Nothing too interesting, no field report, writer's strike still going on, so no new good shows on. I do have some updates though that you may or may not find interesting and I request a favor from each one of you. That favor though, will be talked about later on in the post. Now let's get talkin'!
Well since that little "hangout" thing with that girl from work. Well I got bad vibes from her the next time I worked with her. I was afraid that maybe she wanted me to kiss her before I left, but I wasn't sure. Well I kind of kept my distance from her, and was able to joke with her a little on the night before and the usual crap I talk with her about at work. Well this week was interesting because I believe Tuesday night at work was the spark in me that was well uncommon to say the least. Well the taken HB, not the girl I hung out with but another one that always flirts with me. She has grabbed my ass, flirted with me, all of that, this isn't the one that always says how much she misses me, but I know this girl is bullshitting me as well. Well I guess you can say my flirting and joking around with her went to a new level. We used to just kick each other, well now it's more physical then that and I am now able to kino with her. (Reminder: The girls from work are only meant for testing and practicing purposes, I do not plan on having a real relationship with any of them..) Well, for example, I was at the frying station and she was packaging some fries and I started kind of bumping her on the side of her leg with the front of my leg, and she was laughing and saying "hey don't do that I am trying to make fries". Well I guess my bumping kinda slightly shifted towards her leg and I wasn't humping, but my friend below sure thought it was. This sounds worse reading it through the monitor when it actually was, but this new level of flirting sparked a week long ignition of increased horniness. I have never been as bad as I was after. Kind of like the movie 40 Days and 40 Nights with Josh Hartnett, everything around me reminded me of sex, everything was making me go crazy and elevate downstairs.
This past week, I have for the first time, seen a girl's panties while they were wearing them. You see, I have this belief that secretly every woman wants me, but they can't have me because someone won't let them or something. This brings me to trigonometry class. This was the day after my little bumping thing with the girl from work, I sit down in trig class and I am alright but cannot get her out of my head and another girl from my past and then IT happens. The girl who always snubs me in Leadership class, and rarely would look me in the eye or talk to me (until very recently when she started asking me about dance auditions for the spring play Guys and Dolls), she was wearing a skirt and sitting in my direction and no leggings on. I turn around cause someone talks in the back and then I don't know I just noticed her legs for a second (She is very good looking by the way, a little chubbier in some places for my tastes, but that's not important).. She was wearing panties. The last time I got a look like this there was darkness all around. This time no darkness and creme panties. I could almost swear she knew I was looking too, but she didn't close her legs or stare me down like if she didn't mind or she wanted me to (That could be just how I would have liked to see that, but I seriously considered it later on thinking about it). She was looking ahead or something and maybe didn't notice me or who knows what, but it was a first and that got me going crazy. I would never stare down there, but holy shit, the things going through my mind.
This reminded me of two different movies, one that has more meaning to me, one being Mischief, with the same kind of thing happening and the other... One dear to my heart, Brighton Beach Memoirs, I have played Eugene (my equivalent) in all three of the trilogy including this one, well the "dinner scene" when Eugene would look at up his cousin's legs under the dinner table. That feeling each of them got perfectly summarized my feeling after seeing the girl from class' panties. Okay, but enough with my puberty tales, I realized how being super horny can actually contain a sexual energy that can help me out with my sex appeal. Now granted, how much I unleash the beast is the idea. Not enough to go crazy and hump every solid object, but enough to actually improve my conversation abilities with women and actually get rid of my anxiety in some ways, and be more caveman. When I get like this I just don't feel like saying nothing to the sophomore girl anymore, I could just walk up to her and make out with her and nothing would matter. Obviously I could never do that... yet... but to feel that way is actually a step in the right direction I feel in mastering my own inner game.
Well I did have some AFC moments of course this week, with texting the co-worker I chilled with and trying to find out if she considered us as being JUST friends or more. I am disappointed to say that the community was in my mind and I just had no clue what to say or do, and a piece of my conversation with her at the mall struck out when she noted saying that a co-worker wanted her, but she didn't want him like that so he got pissed and blah blah blah. Well I think now we are all clear and do not want anything out of our friendship, but I know that had to be a horrible thing for anyone training to become a pickup master or venusian artist.
I have another little story for you where I need this favor from you. The sophomore girl sent me a friend request randomly on MySpace, she ust have gotten a new one or something, but she has like no other random people, except me on her friend list. This makes me question everything. I mean I could only say "Hey whats up" or "excuse me" or "whats goin on" walking down a hall and she would always reply with a smile once seeing me, "hey"..... "Hey" is the only word that ever came out of her mouth besides the one time I told her I was going to be a minute in the water fountain cause I was thirsty and it make her laugh a little. Actually, that was the only word that ever came out of her mouth.
Well anyways, on my way out from Trig class and talking to my teacher about my Guys and Dolls callbacks. Who walks through the door but none other then HER and a red light girl (NOGO/not a HB) and they are talking to each other and they are kind of in my way and I can't say anything at this point, but I am kind of watching them two talk about some Spanish project book thing and then she looks at me and says "Hey" kinda quick or something and I kind of walk around and try to say something, but I couldn't even hear myself talk I was thinking so hard. My guess is that I ended up making no sounds and no words to her.
She sucked me in again damn it (this time it wasn't her gorgeous eyes either). I asked two of my best buds that are actually great with women, both know exactly what to say to girls. The one is my future wingman, and the other is a nice guy, but has the confidence and humor to pickup any girl he wants, he just doesn't choose to use it. The nice guy buddy said to walk up to her and say something like "Hey, whats up. Thanks for the friend invite. Hey I gotta get to class, but I will talk to you later." And then he tells me to start talking to her on MySpace later on and go from there. Then later on in the day I told my my wingman friend the story and he just shook his head no when I said I was thinking of doing what the nice guy advised me to, and he said that I should just say "Hey whats goin on" or "How's it goin" or "How you doin'". Then I reminded him of everytime I did that she would always reply "Hey" and that would be it. I don't remember the conversation, but my friend still thinks it's worth it to continue and try talking to her.
This is my mission now.. I have held off from having a true conversation for 2 years with her and I could already be having sex with her right now or having had my 5th consecutive girlfriend and having a date right now with a new one possibly if I would have talked to her. This is where I need your help and the favor.. What do I say to her? Should it be online or in person? Should I use an opener or since I already slightly know her and she knows me very slightly try a different approach? I have thought of everything and the night before I was going to I was just going to thank her for the request and then use a false time constraint and either stay and ask her for her number or kind of leave or something. I cannot think in the ways I should. I cannot word things like I mean, it is my biggest pet peeve about myself. That's why I asked them and though the nice buddy was helpful, the other guy and my future wingman who actually knows her and is good friends with her said to not do that. This is the applying issue I mention in my list of things I need to improve in one of my first blogs.
So to recap the favor/help I need is this: What should I do given the circumstances? What would you do as a PUA? Should my communication at first start out online or in person? What exactly should I say? Since we barely know each other, but do know names...Opener or some other type of approach? Which friend should I ask for more advice in? I got buddies on this site I usually ask, but they are hard to get in touch with nowadays so I thought I would ask everyone and see how they would handle the situation and what they think I should do? Actual conversation ideas would be more of what I am looking for, but anything else I will gladly take into consideration and read with open eyes. Also anymore tips and ideas to improve my applying skills and actually start becoming this confident, social, sexual being I desire to become, will be more then appreciated for.
I work tomorrow so maybe another update which will be posted on this blog, any major ones will be put into a new blog... Well thanks again!. This isn't one of my favorite blogs, but definitely one of my funniest I would say at least. Until next time...
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