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How do you spell WUSSY?
Jan. 28, 2008 9:40 PM - [ post comment ] "Hey there, my name is (aleams) and I have no idea how to talk to you.. lol.. You seem pretty cool and nice, always saying at least hey to me if I ever made noise come out of my mouth. The only way I even recognize you besides in the hallways is from the NY trip. Which was a good time last year.. Before you ask, no I am not going on the trip this year.. I have always wanted to say something to you besides hey or whats up, but me with my stupidity I have not known a single thing to say. I am not a cold person or anything like that, just to make that clear. I am just not very good with talking to someone I barely know, but want to know.
No, I am not usually like this. I am just trying to take a chance before it's too late to get to know you. You probably know little things about me from p-lew.. great guy, but I barely know you so I feel bad. It has bothered the hell out of me for a long time and feel stupid for not talking to you and now trying to talk to you online before we could get to know each other in person. Honestly, I have no clue why I am messaging you right now, I have been waiting for the perfect moment and make a great first impression finally talking to you. I figure now is better then 4 months from now when I am getting ready to graduate. I just want to get to know someone hopefully great. I am not expecting a girlfriend or anything, I am just being social or something like that. Alright, I am done. Talk to you soon!"
I am sick and tiredThat is the exact message on facebook I was just about to send to the sophomore girl. At this moment, I am deleting it and wishing it farewell. Today, I had an over-dosage of perfect looking women for me on TV.. like 5 really hott girls all not even 1 hour from each other and all getting macked on by all different guys. I was dying inside. I said to myself (in my thoughts), that this is pathetic that I have been living my life for fucking almost 18 years and I have never had a girlfriend. I am sick and tired of only being able to masterbate about it and not even at least kiss a girl. New teacher that doesn't teach me, super hott, but never knew what to say but "Hey". It's that kind of shit, I can only imagine putting huge game on her and whatnot, but that's not what it happening... I was telling a buddy from Pit and Balcony (my local community theatre) he is 14 and has already had like 5 girlfriends and was not only shocked by my fact, but also said, and I quote, "Wow, that is sad...". Granted at his age, girlfriends mean nothing, but none the less. I felt that I have waited long enough to make a perfect first impression and I was seriously a click away from most likely great humiliation.
A side story: I never told you guys about a situation I had in the seventh grade. I had a crush on these two girls who showed me such kindness and were very hott, they were about to go into high school. Where I currently go to, and for some reason, I wanted them to know it for only God knows what reason. I typed them each a letter with my mother helping me write it (I would have said now that I regret it, but what I learned from it was phenomenal). I even gave them each a little teddy bear. Put each one in a box with a card with my letter in it professing "my crushing" on both of them. Let's just say I never really ever heard from them again.. I saw them in high school, sometimes many times, but we never talked. It wasn't me though. I would always say "hi" to them, but cold responses, cold shoulder, all of that. Oh one of their mothers told me right after I did it that she thought it was sweet, but that was it. I had the greatest intentions and really had a good heart behind it, but these girls almost disliked me after doing that.
The whole point of this story is that girls don't want wussy letters, letters from the heart. They search for that mystery and interesting aspect of men.. Who they dated after my letter proves my point and the point of every single PUA to ever say it. It was hard to see them after all of that. It was hard to be in that situation, trying to put your heart on the line for a chance and getting it trampled on like if you were the ground while elephants were rampaging and rioting. After I typed it and before I was about to click send, this story came back into my head. Now of course this doesn't mean that it would have ended the exact same way if I sent it to her or not. Though chances are, it would have not ended pretty.. at all. I am glad I was reminded of that story, because I know why I remembered it. I told myself after doing that that I would never do anything like that again. I am glad I never sent it out.
The other reason I am making this pointless blog is not only to teach the guys in here a lesson I learned the hard way, but to also tell you guys that tomorrow is my preliminaries before my 30 days of training. From tomorrow until May.. forgot the day.. I will be officially using what you guys have sent me in as suggestions and use them in all different situations. Whether I fail or not, at this point whatever can make me better would make me happier. Something just isn't right. I am the only guy I know in person that has this problem with women and being social altogether. For example, with the show I was house managing for. I had always wanted to congratulate the cast on a job well done. I could only just smile and that was it for the first three shows. I felt so disrespectful and mean to not say anything to the cast except the people I knew. The night of the last show I was managing, I was in a good mood after hanging out in the concession stands with some really cool people. After the show, I just walked up to each person and said good job to them. It was the weirdest thing in the world, but I was happy to do it. I was soo uncomfortable every time before that I was crippled and could never do it. Then I was put in a good mood and did it. I was soo happy that I had accomplished something I had never done before. It also made me realize how my problem is not with just women, but all social aspects. I never made friends so I just felt that hiding in my house was the best option. Well now I know I can do it.. Also those guys from pickuppodcast were right. Having something to put you in a good mood can easily make you more social and confident. I am living proof!
So instead of that stupid message I almost sent her, I am going to say words to her tomorrow and if she doesn't respond. Who cares, she's a bitch if she doesn't talk to me and gives me a cold shoulder. And it shouldn't matter if she talks to me or not, because as long as I try I am going to get better.
Honestly about an hour ago I was going crazy, now I am feeling pretty damn good. You guys saved my ass from once again humilation!
Thanks guys!
aleams
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