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The Answer
Feb. 17, 2008 12:49 AM - [ post comment ] Lately, I have been thinking a lot about myself and my current situation and I am not liking it. Two huge gems have come onto my lap in the past couple days, one being "Mind Power for Free" and the other being "The Secret". These gems have become so influential, I could not pass up on the chance to share it with you guys. Most of you guys are on the same path as I am and I know this will help me and you too. Well anyways, a couple days ago, I was in the living room with my mother and we happened to be watching, you guessed it, Oprah. This episode was about how to flip your life upside down. They had introduced a subject that many of you guys were familiar with, Affirmations. The idea of repeating an idea of how you see yourself will be projected into yourself. For example: "I am confident, and nothing is going to bring me down." That is an affirmation. I smiled watching the show when I had heard them mention it. Automatically, I think of RJ stressing the idea upon all of his students of how necessary and truly helpful affirmations can be to those that truly want major changes in life. Well, they not only talked about that, but of other things and books that Oprah thinks can change lives and ways of thinking. One of these books is called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrnes (If I misspelled, please forgive me). It's a very small book, only being 160-something pages, but what it contains inside is priceless.
My mother and I became impressed with this concept and went to Barnes and Nobles and she picked up a copy of "The Secret" and I read my acting book in the cafe. I figured that I did not need to read the book since I knew all about affirmations and all of that. Today, I decide to look through it since my mom and sister were so impressed reading the book. I must say, I have converted to The Secret. It is not a religion (I plan to stay Catholic.. haha), but instead a belief and chain reaction of truths that you must believe and understand in order to let the benefits sink in. What is the secret? Well, get your check books out in my name and you better be ready to pay me $19.95, since I am going to give you my own personal recollection of the book.
The Secret is simply three words: "Thought is Reality". Now the book gives a different quote then that, but this is my three word definition of The Secret. Your current life is the result of all of your past. This includes everything bad that has happened to you, and to also any thought you may have had. If you are thinking to yourself right now, "My life is not that great." Then you life will then project all of these beliefs and focus more on the bad things then the good things. To sum it up: "When you think negative, you receive negative. When you think positive, you receive positive."
Think about it, for us guys, when we only focus on the negative, we not only find more negative, but create more negative for ourselves. All of our problems are in our head. If we can simply just think more positive, then in doing so, good things will come. When you are out in the field and something doesn't go right for you. Maybe your target turns cold on you or something of that nature. What do you do? Do you dwell on what was your issue and have it ruin your night? Once figuring out what this issue was, do you struggle for days to come to either some sort of failure or more confusion? This is all a result of not exactly negative thinking, but your perception on the matter and the fact that you do not let the bad thoughts go. The problem I have been having with women is not exactly the adapting of the techniques, but more that I am realizing how negative I have been lately and how I do not smile as much as I used to.
I, in the past, had no faith in myself and in doing so creating large amounts of repulsion from many different bodies including that of my friends, strangers, and every girl I am interested in. This idea is called the Law of Attraction. Whatever you project to the world, will be projected into your life. Basically that your mind is a magnet and good or bad things will be attracted to it depending on your mindset or thoughts.A great analogy to use would be this, you are like the film projector and your thoughts are the film and the projection screen is your life. When you have damaged film being put on the projector, you do not want to watch it. When the projected piece of film is clear and good then you become entertained and want to watch, which in turn makes you more able to enjoy the film. The phrase "Perception is Reality" is given truth by this law. All life truly is, is simply what you perceive to be, whether it be good or bad.
We must always believe that our beliefs can change our perception on life. Since we only use between 5-10% of our brain, our attractions and our own universes are limitless and have such tremendous strength on who we are as individuals. This has such a huge effect on every single person we meet when we use this Secret. Another strong belief to have is to always be grateful for what you have. In doing so, you become more positive since you are focusing more on the positive and your mind adapts and turns this into a habit. (Something I learned about the mind from watching "Mind Power for Free" and from studies I have read is that smiling releases endorphins into the brain, since your mind always relates smiling with being happy. A great way to perk yourself up when you need it would be that when you are feeling down or lazy, just take a deep breath in with your nose and shoot out a quick burst of your breath from your mouth. Don't take too long breathing out, since then it will not have the same effect. It really does work.)
This brings me to my next whole section of ideas. Since our minds are limitless and our potential is unlimited, this means that we have control over our own minds. I already gave you two tricks to make you feel more energized and happy. This goes to prove that everything that you think is beyond your control, in all reality is. You can use the Law of Attraction to your advantage, which now brings me to my favorite part of the book and something that even actors use on stage, that I never realized until now. If believing that thinking positive will result in more positive and that your life is the result of your own perception of it, could it then be possible that whatever you want to believe in and be turned into reality in some way or another? The answer to this is "YES"! A personal belief I have always had with God and faith is that the only way to know God exists is to believe that God exists. This thing called faith is a more powerful thing then I imagined, and I guarantee you that it can impact your life heavily if you use your strong faith in the right places.
I would like you to stare at your hands and study the details of the backs of your hands. Now I would like you to close your eyes and imagine your hands on the steering wheel of your dream car. Right next to you is your dream girl and you are pulling up to your bachelor pad which happens to be a multi-million dollar mansion. What look is on your face right now? I bet it is a smile. Well, I have some great news for you.. "THAT CAN BE YOU!" If you can imagine it, then you make make it happen for you. Anything positive you want, as long as you can truly believe in it, can come to you.
An analogy I would like to use is this: You are a painter, in front of you is your canvas, your brush is your current perception and the paint is your energy into what you want to believe. If you paint a beautiful picture of your future, then once the painting is completed and dried off, it becomes a whole, and in turn, a reality. The book even talks of a painter that painted pictures of women turning there heads away from the viewers like to say "I do not want this, I am not interested." All he had to do was paint pictures of himself with women and believe in it and it came to him. He had great success with women after doing this simple thing that was completely overlooked. Something us guys in the community need to learn is that there is no such thing as failure. Failure, like war can only cause more war, can only bring more failure. I guarantee you even your role models in pickup have their own issues in one way or another and fail in some ways even today, only the ones that know the Secret truly succeed. To accept the fact that we all make mistakes and fail is killing our chances. This is a deadly mindset to have and yet it is so deeply ingrained into each and everyone of us from birth.
We must never leave a situation thinking, "Man, I sucked..". Our thoughts are the result of our past. This means that to think this, is to only make it more difficult for us next time and shows us something else. If we see ourselves as being negative, how would you expect others around you to see you in this state or current time? Something I read in a acting book of mine says that all internal characterization is projected externally. This means that anything we think or feel will be shown to the world. If your not feeling happy and positive and you walk into a club, the girls in that club will not see you as being happy or positive, no matter how well you fake the happiness. You must actually feel and believe in what you are feeling in order to expect others to see you in this way. I now believe that almost all "failures" are a result of a bad mindset on your behalf.
The book offers many ways to help you use The Secret to your advantage. One of the contributors to the book said that when he wakes up every morning he says thank you for each step he makes, but it is not a ritual, "same ol', same ol'" routine. This helps make his morning and in turn his entire day more positive. Think of how many times in a day how easily one simple thing can ruin that entire day or week/end. To let it bother you, is to only make it worse and THAT is what ruins your day. The Law of Attraction is at work. You can also make a "vision board". Simply post of pictures or whatever of something you want to happen to you. Make sure it is in a place you would see a lot and look at it often. Put up a picture or list of what you want in a woman, or a picture of money, or your dream house and it has been proven to work. You must believe in it though. I have read and heard of how the board has been given life and truth and stunned people once they realize that they end up receiving it.
If you start to grow impatient and start to believe that the Secret is failing, you must realize that the Law of Attraction only happens when you allow it to. You must then act out or "make-believe" like you already have whatever it is until you then receive it. For our situation, believe that you are this amazing and legendary pickup artist and always trying to learn more in order to create even more success. You are successful and inspiring to others, while also achieving all of your dreams. Given this Law, this all must happen for you. You must not sit around and wait though. As I have believed in the past, before the book, "God never makes your prayers come true. He only guides you in the right direction and then you must take the action and effort to achieve this." (If you do not believe in a god then replace "God" with "Nature" since it can fit in perfectly either way.)
Before you make this vision board, just write down all of your struggles with women and areas of improvement and then develop a board full of all the answers and personality types and women you want to be/have/achieve in your present. You must never rely on the future successes from the past failures. Create your future now, and believe in it. Live life like you if you had everything you wanted. I cannot stress this enough.. There are so many gems in here I cannot even edit out most of this blog post. Seriously, dig and you will find some great things and then just meditate on it and your mind is given a fuller view of how helpful this can actually be on your life. You don't need a 30-step or 10-day program to fix this greatest issue with all guys and all human beings in all situations affecting each and every one of us every single day.
I guess what I am trying to say from all of this is, if you don't love yourself how can you expect someone else to love you? If the world is your mirror and you do not like the world, then you obviously do not love yourself. This sense of self-respect is something that all women find unattractive in a man. It is difficult to understand exactly what goes into loving yourself, but I think it is pretty obvious that thinking more positively can only help. I have had very few friends in my life. I have had no girlfriends, not even really a friend that is a girl. I have only hung out with a girl on a one on one basis about three times in my life and they ended with silence on one person's behalf. When I felt so lonely and so confused as to why this was constantly happening to me, it took me reading this book and connecting all of my negative emotions and feelings to my current state in life and realizing that it is me.
Were James Bond, James Dean, Style, Mystery, and every other influential man in pickup to be men, that women found attractive as being negative? Never. Would they have ever been as loved by women if they had not been positive? I believe not. They weren't negative, they were each in their own way a sophisticated cool. They lived for the moment and in doing so found themselves waking up in bed with more and more women then before. Success came to them because they were not impatient. They were not always fearing life, but instead just living it for what it was worth to them. They defined their own life. They had a sense of a calming coolness inside them and that was projected from them and in doing so pulled in many women some with hard work. We look at them now because they were so cool and legendary, but what made them so cool? They didn't define or project something that was abnormal, but they had a sense of self-respect and lived there life as if it was always on the edge. I guess what it was is that they did not have to understand themselves in order to project the most defining aspects of there own personalities into the world, the viewing audiences. They used there mysterious nature to captivate women into wanting to know exactly who they are. Women felt as if they completely understood them by the time they kissed them. Did these guys ever spill out their heart once meeting them and cry and plead for her to kiss him? No, they always maintained this sense of who they were in every situation. They used The Secret to there advantage. I believe that this sense of cool they projected was in fact a sense of self-respect, self-worth, and they molded it into there body language and words and how they talked. As my acting book says, all external characterization comes from the internal. I do not think that they ever questioned there abilities with attracting women at the prime of there game.
Basically, if I am going to go approach a woman I find to be attractive or even a set, the fact that I go up there and try to talk to them is good enough, but if you "fail" yet you smile and celebrate it and know that next time it can only be better, then you have achieved something that few ever have. I know for along time I have felt rushed by time to get laid and find true love before I die. Me being impatient is only going to make things worse. This is something that is projected into the world from many different situations. Your nervousness, fear of approach, your "failures" all come in some way or another from you being impatient. You may have jumped the gun and maybe asked for the phone number too early. You may have approached a set and had it all canned and yet you could tell that they could sense the loss of validity in your approach. You may have been afraid to fail since you want to make sure that every aspect of your approach and conversation is perfect. You may be a perfectionist and corrected a set or lone wolf and in doing so made her uninterested in you. You may just see yourself in sets as being awkward and too tense. All of this comes from a gargantuan amount of impatience in the individual. You cannot time yourself, that is the biggest problem with the 3-second rule. Every guy feels that he has failed if he doesn't approach within 3 seconds. The 3-second rule is only a study to show that it is crucial to not take forever and stare down the target before you approach her. Don't take forever to approach, but don't time yourself either. It is not a race to meet the target, in doing so you are only competing with yourself and in this situation you have only buried your own grave in the long run.
My three keys for success: Be Grateful, Be Positive, Do Not Be Impatient. If I am not grateful enough for where I am now, then I know that I am not happy with myself and not helping anyone want to get to know me. If I am positive then I know that even if I were to not get the results I was hoping for, then I would not let it bring me down and never care about the bad and always be able to focus on the good. Good can only bring in more good, never bad. Finally, if I am not impatient then even if I do not get what I want when I wanted it , I am strong enough to just know that it will come to me soon. I achieve to be thankful for being happy with myself and not letting time interfere with my goals. Timing your goals only limits your potential as a human being and creates your anxious, awkward behavior. Take as much time as you need to perfect each part of your person, and life will reward you for it.
In the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin's life, he was at a mass and heard this quote from the Bible, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, or of good report, if there be any virtue, or any praise, think on these things."-Philippians 4:8. He decided that he must find his own "moral perfection". In doing this he came up with thirteen virtues for his own perfection based on all of his own issues he was having. He listed temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and finally humility. He made it a mission to base each aspect of one of these virtues into his daily life and each week he would make it a mission to show that chosen virtue for the week. Whenever he would be in a situation where it would be tested he had to show this virtue. Once starting it he realized how often each virtue plays into his life and then later on he noticed that he was faulting much less then before. He never did finish the 13-week program, but he became a better person out of it. Yes, technically he timed himself, but he gave himself a good amount of time to "perfect" each personal flaw. He was patient and was always looking on the bright side to everything and was in the end of it all grateful that he had done it. He had self-worth and found it out for himself that though he is human, he has the potential for human perfection by his own definition.
He used each of my three keys to success and knew the Secret well enough to make this great achievement in his life. I wish I could describe how grateful I am for having been in this site. I realized how much better I am socially since being in this social network. I was able to talk to a girl I found to be attractive and did not know at my local Barnes and Noble. I do not think I could have ever said anything in the past to her. I must use this gratefulness and knowledge of the future to my advantage and show the world what I truly am and enjoy the benefits!
All you have to do is use all of the techniques I have shown you and you are guaranteed everlasting success and fantastic results in not only pickup, but financially, your sex life, personal health, mental health, and every other aspect in life. All I can say now is "Don't hope for it, go for it". "Don't pray for faith, just know and believe in yourself". This can truly help you and change your life. I would like to just remind you that the world is the mirror to your life and that you can change your whole perception of it as long as you truly believe and work for it. I will leave you with a quote that is pretty relevant to this entire blog.
"When life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When your feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle thats the key and Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." - Spamalot
I didn't really have any that interesting to update on, so next blog will be an update. I may or may not add on to this post in the future, since there is so much in front of me, but I am not exactly sure how to explain all of it.
Any questions, comments or concerns can be sent to me through a message or if you want, through a comment underneath.
Peace!!!
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