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The Response
Mar. 29, 2008 2:37 AM - [ post comment ] It's amazing how much time it can take for one to truly be able to understand themselves. The difference between finding it fast or slower is that the one who finds it out faster is the one who relaxes and expands their mind on the matter. I, myself, have been sick for multiple days. I am still trying to figure out my own "method" in each separate area of life I pursue. I have divided my life into three or four areas: "Social/Women", "Religious", "Career/Education", "Theatre". Ironically, if you mix the first letters of all those words they come to spell out "Secret". I am trying to be able to turn each aspect of my life into an art and master it's definition within myself and copy it out on the board from which my paint brush creates beautiful art. In my acting book (Yes, you can learn some things from being taught how to act. You would be surprised.) the author describes how he divides the entire script into multiple pieces from which he calls "Bits" and then each action leading to the end of each Bit as being a "Task".
For anyone that has recently read my MySpace blogs (where I just doodle some poems out for your viewing pleasure), you may have seen how recently I described how emotions are multipurpose. How we all use different variations (or dialects) of the same raw emotion, into each day. If you were to define a bit as being a day 12am-12pm, how many dialects of the same emotion do you think you could have. A lot I bet... Increase that to a week, or a year, or 10 years. Even bigger now huh... (I will give you a little insight in how to use "bits" and "tasks" to your advantage out in the field later on.) Until then, one thing that astonishes me is how incredibly deep emotions can get and how by just adding a little flavor to happiness you create joy or confidence. Adding some flavor to anger creates jealousy or hatred. Adding flavor to sadness creates mourning or depression. Adding flavor to being afraid creates being terrified.
Whenever I would be just about close enough to approach a beautiful girl, but just far away enough that if I walked away she would never notice. Something I never became so aware of until now was how many emotions go through my mind at the breaking point of comfort. Habit is comfortable to your mind. Your mind does not have to do anything different then it is used to. When you become fully aware of the possibility of discomfort, your mind automatically responds with just about every single basic emotion possible and with the "Given Circumstances" it can either intensify them all or cool them down.
One day during school, I desperately wanted to talk to that gorgeous sophomore girl (at the time, she was a freshmen) and I wanted my good buddy (the natural) to help me out. He tells me that I should go up to her and just say "Hey cutie, what's up". I just started laughing since I know that would not go by her, she could read my fake confidence from a mile away. Well anyways, that class ends and I am in the hallway and from a distance I see her. The closer I get my heart starts beating harder and harder in anticipation. Next thing I know, my natural buddy pushes me into her and I did not plan on it happening. What emotions went through my head? "Holy shit, what are you doing by this girl?" - discomfort. "What if you don't know what to say after apologizing?" - fear "It's about damn time you get some sort of contact towards this girl" - happiness. Then I started imagining failure and became depressed by it and I just walked away after saying "Sorry" with no eye contact or anything. How long did all of this take place? About 5 seconds.
The first thing I would like you to become aware of from now on is once you are staring at the breaking point of discomfort, try to become aware of what emotions you feel as your become uncomfortable when either being in a social area or approaching a set or a lone wolf. This is the most crucial step! No method stresses this one major key to solving all of your problems! How can you know how to be confident out in the field, without knowing what emotions are interfering with your possibility of confidence and in turn success with women?!?! The second most important thing in this first step is to at least attempt to try and figure out where your negative emotions have come from. I can say for sure that my lack of social skills and depression came from being sheltered in my neighborhood growing up very little and not having a strong father figure to teach me what I need to know to be a man and things like that. All of these things created WHO YOU ARE! These are called the most influential part of your "Given Circumstances". Everything that led up to the moment where you are. I guarantee that it is not difficult to find out why you are where you are. I realized mine from seeing many father and sons together order food at my job and just becoming depressed and jealous of them.
The sight of it drew me in and made me think of why I would feel this way and my mind became clear. So many of my issues came from not having a father figure, my lack of confidence, social skills, and countless other things. Once making this realization, in order to stay sane, I had to believe that regardless of the given circumstances I could change them for the better. This was very difficult, but I was able to figure out how I could in actuality do it. How I could change the usual given circumstances and improve my life in doing so. In order for me to change it, I just used "bits" and "tasks". Since you cannot change what has happened in the past, but you can do multiple things to influence it. The task being used is creating a new mindset, but the bits are the most interesting aspect of them all. You can create bits out of any number of periods in time, correct? Why can't you separate your past into bits? You see we tend to dwell too much on the past. What if we could create dividing blocks in our head separating our entire history into multiple bits. We live as if we have only one bit, but if we divide them into multiple ones then we tend to dwell less on the past and more on the present since we do not have as much to dwell on.
This may be very difficult for you to understand, but let me try to explain it a little more in depth. When something bad has happened in my life, I would tend to stay focused on it for long periods of time. If I were to separate that "bad time" from my current task, I would have just created a new "bit". When you end one bit, then you are always starting another, a new "bit". You are creating a clean slate, a fresh canvas, from which to paint on. Any past negative emotions do not matter anymore because they are a part of a past "bit". What I want to stress is that only the negative emotions are divided into bits. You can still keep what memories you have, but only the negative emotions and mindsets are to be thrown to the past. You are not to forget what made you what you are, but you are to only separate your negative self into many different little forms into your past. I hope I was able to make it all the more clear.
Now the second aspect of this new concept is the task, the changing of the mindset. In order to create this new bit, you must change your mindset from the past bits and use "The Answer" to help you change your outlook on the past "bits" and in turn evolve your multiple emotions into more suitable ones. For example, a family member passes away that you were very fond of. The moment you hear of the saddening news, you start to feel shock, then anger, depression, and all of the other stages. When you are able to sense when these emotions may turn into harmful ones, you just create a new bit. Forget about those emotions and take a deep breath and not dwell on what made you so sad or angry, but in turn how this person made you feel so happy in the past. You can manipulate all of your harmful, negative emotions and create stronger positive ones. Maybe now, you can give a toast to a great person in a moment of celebration of a good person and a good life.
You can never feel weighed down by the chains of depression if you substitute them for lighter chains of joy. Your current mindset must be clear of harmful emotions if you want to live a happier life. I can guarantee you that if you try this enough times and turn this into habit, you won't have to create many new bits since your life will be so great that you won't dwell on the negative, so you won't need bits to clear your mind. These "bits" and "tasks" are to never be split of the other. You need both just as much as the other, they are indivisible.
Maybe this can help you guys out with some of your problems and don't worry I know I said that I would apply this to pickup, but I am not feeling too great and desperately in need of a shower, some medication to make me healthy, and some good ol' sleep.
Another tip: Make sure you can get as much sleep as possible. Believe me, every night I sleep great hours, the better I feel the next day. When you naturally wake up, then stay up, you will know when you naturally wake up. It can be the easiest way to making yourself feel more confident and alive, just by being more awake. When you are deprived of sleep, you tend to despise being awake when you feel so tired. This can be the bad beginning of a possibly great day.
To be Continued....
Part 2 Coming Soon!
Have a good one guys!
aleams
Click Here to Check Out My Myspace!
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