Verbal Communication for Attraction Homeostasis will be finished and posted in about 2 weeks. Here is a quick preview of what's to come.

I will also be posting Body Language pt.2 in a few days.
Thanks for the support and questions.

An E-mail from a friend in the community about Chemistry or Death... I responded:

Q1: does that mean, more banter in attraction?

Lets get the terminology correct first.
Banter is a tool. The classic definition of banter is: A light colloquial conversation. Technological and urban development has brought about a need to further classify human interaction because more people live in a society with daily interchange.

Attraction - according to Mystery is a three part Stage that beings with the opener and moves into banter leading to isolated conversation and light rapport. According to ME, attraction is not a Stage but a phase. The difference is that the brain and body become attracted before the conscious mind understands. However since the conscious mind has the ability to control the subconscious we need to increase our ability to build empathy with a person to maintain the attraction phase until their feelings are realized.

For our purposes let's define Banter as: A light form of teasing under mutual pretext to attraction. (look up the literal meaning of pretext to better understand this definition)

In many pick-up methods the use of banter as a tool is to create an atmosphere of familiarity. Friends often banter with each other. They tease without the intent to harm. Conversely when our true friends and family roast us it is to show adoration and ardor. Mimicking this style of interaction with someone you just met will simulate a closer, more personal relationship leading to rapport. Banter can also be used to interlace sexual undertones. Improper or excessive use will create ill feelings or distrust.

Attraction occurs before banter begins. Banter is used to stimulate attraction and if empathy manifests creates an aura I like to call Chemistry. Building chemistry can not be expedited by generally increasing banter. Banter will help increase an understanding of personality. Understanding of personality will guide and stimulate conversation. This process will maintain attraction and lead to the realization of Chemistry.


Q2: (does that mean) more connection in comfort?

Comfort is another word used by Mystery to describe a three part Stage that occurs after Attraction. It consists of rapport, isolation and deep rapport.
While MM's technique breaking down pick-up into Stages and subdivided into steps works well as a method of understanding the common patterns of interaction, it does not properly explain the psychological effects of such events.

Comfort is: "a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants". According to my theory mutual comfort begins before the approach is consciously registered. Discomfort is created by approach, therefore the goal must be to maintain mutual homeostasis.

Connection is a loaded word. I connect with my boss, my friend's dog, my parents, some of my friends, but I am not attracted to them sexually. There will be a connection with any successful interaction. There HAS to be a connection of some sort for sexual attraction. Being aware of and guiding the direction of of that connection should be your goal as a charismatic being.

Thanks for the questions. I hope this clarifies the terms and definitions I like to use.

A message from a friend in the community:
...Some one told me the other day to keep my hormones in balance. How do i do this?...

My Response:
Literally Hormones are proteins produced by organs of the body that trigger activity in other locations. They are chemical messengers that carry signals from one cell to another.
Have you ever heard of an Endocrinologist? They are doctors that study the Endocrine system. Endocrines are cells with ductless glands that secrete hormones.
For the most part, hormones are secreted at a specific location and carried by the circulatory system (blood) where they will be used. Other times an amino acid or protein can act as a hormone but is sent chemically or electrically throughout the body.
Hormones are involved regulatory processes such as control of metabolism, growth, water balance etc. Hormones are responsible for much of who we are physically and mentally. The center of hormone coordination is a part of the brain called the Hypothalamus.

The hypothalamus links the nervous system to the endocrine system via the pituitary gland. In short, your nervous system receives input from the outside world through the 5 senses (and others if you believe in advanced cognitive psychology i.e. pheromones) The nervous system's response to stimuli is processed by the hypothalamus and the endocrine system's hormone release is controlled accordingly.

A simple example: A man sees an erotic image. His nervous system responds by recognizing the image as erotic. The Hypothalamus sees this activity and triggers the release of hormones to control the man's sexual arousal.

When someone tells you to "get your hormones in check" it usually means that they think you're overly sexually ambitious. There is nothing wrong with you physically. A big part of the pick-up community is teaching men how to put their best selves forward. If someone thinks that you come across as a guy with sex on the brain you need to consider two things:
1. Does their opinion have any validity? Has more than one person said something to you alluding to a possible hyperactive sex drive? Has this hindered your goals in any way?
2. Do you want to change your perception or is this a unique part of your personality that you embrace?

I find that it is good to have a slightly above average sex drive as long as you know when to whip it out. Timing and charisma are key. Sexual notes should be interlaced in good stimulating adult conversation. If used properly they will demonstrate high value in that you have the maturity to tame such a raucous topic in discussion with new people. Your sexuality can attract some people but, at the same time, misuse and over-enthusiasm will decrease your value and potential as a sexual partner.

Remember that many people are uncomfortable with their sexuality. When they sense someone with an above average libido (sexual desire) they become agitated and uneasy. The only way to combat this outcome is to demonstrate a quiet, zen-like mastery of your sex drive. Sexual awakedness is alluring all the time. Sexual desire is attractive only when the other party wants to be desired by you.

Hope this helps

- eric

Lets talk about Body Language today.

I want you to make it your mission to understand this one simple concept: Your appearance to others is only 10% how you look.

Human beings have developed the ability to perceive. Let that soak in for a minute.

Google the definition of the word "perceive". "To become aware of through the senses"

Evolutionarily the human body needed to develop a way to immediately pass accurate judgment of an approaching stranger. Without this ability humans would have been susceptible to wrong doers or  simply live in fear of strangers. Survival instinct created a complex chemical process for perception.

You are perceived by another person before you approach. Ever get that feeling someone is looking at you or looking over your shoulder. Ever wonder why you can look across a crowded room at another person and they will look back as if they knew you were looking at them? The brain has an amazing way of capturing and utilizing information that you are not consciously aware of. The cool part is that your brain will involuntarily cause your body to physically react to this sub-conscious information.

It has been scientifically proven that socially charged emotions [for example: the creeps, anticipation, excitement, disgust, anxiety] have significant physiological signs. Some psychologists even speculate that you become aware of these emotions only after recognizing that your body has already reacted to it. Goosebumps, the chills, shaking and itching are all warning signs that you are feeling some emotion. Next time it happens to you stop and think if you pinpointed your emotional state before or after your body reacted. The most common example of this is Fight or Flight: A physical reaction to an event that the conscious mind cannot process quickly enough. Evolution has saved our ass.

Take this and narrow it down to a controlled event. For our purposes lets discuss the Body Chemistry of a girl about to be approached by a man in a social environment. Her body has become instantly accustomed to the status quo of the bar as soon as she settles into a stationary position for a short period of time. Aurally her brain has become accustomed to and can recognize changes in the acoustics when people around her move. Her Skin can sense slight temperature changes from people drawing close or moving away. Her Eyes are absorbing light information and her sub-conscious is recording visual information that may prove vital for survival (I like to compare this ability to driving a car and being aware of your surroundings without directly looking around). Her nose is sensing the breath of people talking to her as well as other fragrances in the air. Let's not forget the ability to sense pheromones. Her brain is absorbing all this information and causing her body to involuntarily react and can send more lucid physiological cues if necessary (such as in Fight or Flight).

All this high level perception is going on and you think your tiny muster of courage to facade a shy AFC will fool her into believing you are the Casanova that will sweep her off her feet?

Body Language is the physiological reaction to your psychological state. It can never be anything else.

Now, just as our bodies have the ability to perceive environment they also have the ability to perceive the physical cues of another person. Just as our bodies react physically to our environment before we comprehend our psychological state, the same is true when approached by a stranger.

This is why Body Language is so important to becoming a PUA.

A woman will tell you she can know if she is attracted to a guy in the first 30 seconds of meeting him. The funny part is that her brain and body knew she was attracted WAY before she consciously realized.

The lesson today is designed to help you understand what Body Language is. Body Language lesson #2 will focus on controlling your Body Language (a.k.a. Frame Control)

Raise your hand if you're tired of the same old openers...
Raise your hand if you hate the fact that dental floss and "did you see the fight?" kinda work.

Of course they work. Everything works, but we all know that by now. So why do we still use them from time to time.

First thing to consider is: When are these stock time tested openers necessary?
The answer is: These openers were inventive and exciting when developed in the 90's, but just like Hooked on Phonics textbooks, the intention and use are timeless. Simply put, canned openers are wonderful tools for teaching AFC's how to approach a set. It came from Mystery's teaching that success breeds confidence. Success is achieved through competence. Competence is achieved through learning and studying theory. So there you have it. The theory is, "say something". Once you master that, we can move on.

Second thing to consider is: Why have so few people written about the next generation of openers?
Answer: Easy. Because it didn't make a difference. Ask her what time it is, then tell her you don't care, you just wanted to flirt. Ask her what your friend should do because his girlfriend wants to burn a box of pictures. There are so many girls in the world they're never gonna hear this shit twice... right?

My friends we are no better in the early phases of the pick-up industry than Big Oil and other Big Industrial plants. We are polluting the ocean and soon the fish will evolve and adapt in a horrible Chernobyl-like manner. (did you get the many fish in the sea motif I got going?)

So lets pow-wow. First session of the Ad-Hoc committee on Making the PUA Industry more Green is in session.
Meeting minutes:
    I. Understanding the problem.
       a. Opinion openers - Provide a non offensive way to engage a large group of people in conversation. They can show the PUA's ability to lead a conversation and allow for interjections, negs, multiple threading and targeting to seem effortless. PROBLEM: There are only so many ways to ask a groups opinion on a topic. Certain topics can be boring and instantly DLV. Girls are aware of the opinion opener thanks to VH1
       b. Direct openers - Give PUAs a great way to flex their body language skills. Amazing tool for advanced calibration. The best way to open day game approaches. PROBLEM: Does not work well in group dynamics. Instant DLV in night game.
       c. Monotony -  Girls have heard the canned material before. They are starting to group together to ward off PUAs the same way they protect themselves from Losers and Assholes. PUA's can handle "shit tests" (God I hate that term) but we can not protect ourselves from preemptive strike.

    II.  Solving the problem
       a. Know when to use canned openers. As discussed above, canned openers are designed for the learning process to take you to the next step so you can learn conversation theory. They are not for the intermediate or advanced user to rely on. Build a better foundation as you grow into a REAL PUA.
       b. Educate the women. Speak to girls about what pick up lines or openers they hear all the time. It will shock you to hear that most girls wont remember any good ones. They'll tell you the bad ones they've heard and will recognize the vintage MM openers.
       c. Create an environment that enables educational growth in the pick up community. Neil Strauss speaks of the true PUA lifestyle as one that breeds its own success not because of theory or practice but because it encourages a man to be the best person for himself alone. Our online society is too narrow minded given the wonderful tool that the internet is.
       d. Develop new opening styles. We all strive for that Buddhist like enlightenment we call achieving inner game. What some don't realize is that it is there in you before you realize it. Use it for your openers. Wear your personality on your sleeve. This alone will make you stand out more than any peacocking fool striving for proper frame control and I'm sure Von Markovika will agree with me on that one.
   
    III. Solutions. What we can do now.       
        a. Develop your Opening Style
        b. Develop your own REAL openers
        c. Spread the word.

Minutes over.


Ok, lets discuss Section III. I'm sure its the most exciting part of this article so far.
What is an Opening Style?
Let's look past opinions, direct, questions, story openers etc... What is your style?
Do you Approach a set cold walking away looking over your shoulder and interject with the NLP hand gestures to gather interest? If you answered yes then you are like the majority of newcomers to the community.
Do you make eye contact from across the room while in conversation with another set, warm-up set or group of friends. Then follow up by opening her set with the above style? If so, you are among the majority of PUAs doing this for a while.

Now lets be creative. I'd like to point out some new styles to you. They've been around for ages. Watch some cool movies on a day three with a girl you'll be able to pick out two or three approach styles.

- The Peev. Go over to a girl in a group and correct something she's doing that bothers you. Put her drink on a coaster, ask her not to stick her pinky in the air when she sips her martini, "why are you doing the Drew Barrymore lip thing only when you talk to this friend and not the other". Follow it with, "I caught it out the side of my eye and it was bothering me. You know, one of those funky pet peevs that you can't just let go without saying something, but if you smile at me like that again, I may let you get away with it for tonight. Just tonight."
***note: important thing about The Peev: Do Not use until you have mastered the basics to opening. For a beginner it will take a lot of body language calibration. Also only use this when there is something that truly peevs you. Don't make up a peev that the girl is not doing. Develop your peevs with your friends, or with girls at a bar. Play the peev game. Point to someone in the bar and have your new HB friend pick out a mannerism that peevs them. Then let her pick someone etc...

- Shit Test - Mild. I think i'm stealing this from Juggler or one of the England PUGs. Open with a shit test. To be honest, an image of Carey Grant, Bing Crosby or Dean Martin rolls in my head when I think about the shit test opening style. The intention is to very sarcastically state what you want your ideal girl to be implying that who you are talking to is not that, but the girl knows that she has what it takes to be the one for you. This style opener begins with eye contact and frame control. IMAGE: hottie in a little black dress with a few friends around. You notice she has nice dark shoes, a bright red bag and pretty earrings on.  "Hi, you wear that dress wonderfully but I do only go for girls that accessorize in contrast to their dress."

- Shit Test - Extra Spicy. I am definitely stealing this from Style's Annihilation DVD series when he had guest speakers Steve Piccus and Hypnotica. Steve said that when he sees a beautiful girl in a public place he goes up and tells her that he only dates Bi-Sexual or Bi-Curious women. The key here is Know What You Need To Have. Steve had MLTRs at that time. He knew that if he was attracted to a new girl she would need to be ok with his lifestyle. He didn't need to go out and game a girl to get her into bed. He had girlfriends waiting in the wings to play out sexual fantasies. Bottom Line, If you can accept failure, Shit Test - Extra Spicy. "You are gorgeous, would you consider yourself adventurous in bed?" "How well do you know yourself sexually?"

Ok, now something easy for the beginners.

- Conversation Style. This style is meant for short range set hopping. I like to use this style of opening because it is fun and easy. In conversation with one group, lead the conversation into another group. This is kinda like MM's set merging technique. I'll give a field example of Conversation Style opening. I was leading a conversation about "white guy dancing" then asked the girls what they do when a guy dancing with them pops wood. The girls laugh and tell stories about when this happened to them. One says "I pushed him, grabbed my friend's hand and ran to the bathroom". I called her out on this saying "You are horrible, we can't always control these things, and you're the one rubbing up on it in the first place". When her girlfriends start laughing and defending her, I (MM style) look over my shoulder and say to the next group, "if YOU'RE dancing with a guy you met at a bar and he pops a stiffy would you push him and run away?"


Ok gentlemen, I've gotta head out to meet some friends in the Lower East Side. Four of them are Sexy Psychology PhD's in town from Va, so maybe I'll have some feedback from them to post tonight.

I completely encourage you to help develop more opening styles. Discuss it with girls, make a game out of it.

Comments, Grammar and Spelling corrections are welcomed too...

Stick around for:
- Opening Styles pt.II
- Weeding out the bad ones (not all hot girls are hot)
- The 30-second storytelling technique
- Old Couples
- Boyfriend theory
- MLTR redefined
- to DVH, or not to DHV? A stupid question.
- The true PUA lifestyle
- The next dimension of NLP
- True friends
- Show her you're attracted
- Show her you're turned on
- Piss him off 

    You gotta love conjuring up that memory of the first time you badly struck out with a girl in a public place. I remember going up to the most beautiful girl in the room and saying "hi, I'm Eric" with my shoulders tense and hand in the "hand shake" position. Looking back I am grateful that she was drunk enough to have the courage to look me in the eyes and say "I think you need to talk to someone else". Man did I feel like shit. Daniel Goleman in his books Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence gives the explanation for my physiological response to such a psychological blow. Fortunately I had my friend vodka in a cup and the other drunk Staten Island boys to cheer me up by calling her a skank. Boy o' boy did I learn from that girl and my friends. I wanted to be different from all the guys at that party with perfectly gel'd hair, heavy Staten Island accent, Cool Water cologne and Armani shirt. It wasn't in my nature to chase girls with hopes of blowjobs from a skank in the back of my boy's Lexus. So I watched chick flicks. I studied the guys in the movies that girls want over the Alpha-Male.
    My favorite PUA was Marlon Brando as "Sky Masterson" in Guys and Dolls (the movie of the musical). He has a line (yes in a song) "yeah, Chemistry" that really influenced my life. The line in context of the song speaks about how we'll know when that special someone comes  along. Now Sky Masterson was in no way a one gal kinda guy but he had this chemistry theory  that applied to his entire life. Reminiscent of Don Corleone in the God Father, Brando flexed his social muscle seemingly effortlessly. People are drawn to them. Even the audience saw such dirty and low characters to be so undeniably addictive. What power these characters had. I found something all my goomba friends with all the skanks they could handle didn't have. To finish this paragraph in proper fashion I have to dedicate one sentence to Chazz Palminteri and  A Bronx Tale. The difference between Sonny LoSpeccio; the mob boss, and Lorenzo Anello; the buss driver, show the true dichotomy of my friends and I. "Is it better to be Loved or Feared?". The age old Machiavellian question. Sonny (Chazz) is feared, Lorenzo (DeNiro) is Loved. While people look up to Sonny, he is respected because of fear. No one really knows him or even feels an appreciation for him. Lorenzo, the civil servant is low on the social totem pole but he has a family and the love and respect of all people in his neighborhood. The same love and respect given to Sky and Don Corleone for the same reason. Chemistry.
    Why chemistry? Getting back to Daniel Goleman and his summation of social psychology, every emotion that we receive from another person can be defined as an empathetic response. Scientifically empathy can been seen as a psychological and physiological response to another person's physiology or psychological state. The word's Greek routes "εμπ¬θεια transliterated as empatheia, meaning "physical affection, partiality" - wikipedia. It has been found that even the Ph balance of  people's skin will start to match when they are in a state of empathy. There is great power in "Chemistry".
    I have modeled my life and molded my interpretation of the "Venusian Arts" with Chemistry.  Future blogs will outline my theories, thoughts, trials, failures, successes, adaptation and development of  Chemistry or Death.

- eric

P.S. I am not selling nor will I ever sell anything related to this Method. I have no website dedicated to this Method.

Future Topics:
- Developing your own REAL openers
- Weeding out the bad ones (not all hot girls are hot)
- The 30-second storytelling technique
- Old Couples
- Boyfriend theory
- MLTR redefined
- to DVH, or not to DHV? A stupid question.
- The true PUA lifestyle
- The next dimension of NLP
- True friends
- Show her you're attracted
- Show her you're turned on
- Piss him off